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Dating Differences between America and Japan

Japanese dating philosophy:

This review is specifically for the western or any eastern reader that would like to date inter culturally or for those who aspire to understand the Japanese dating culture. The japan dating culture can as well be described as wooing with initial vagueness since the dating there is very different from the western side and also move a bit slower.

In japan, the tip to dating always starts in some kind of a group. Both of you start by going out with a group of friends but of the same gender. She brings her female friends while the man brings his males friends. If you do it the other way round it might be misunderstood. Being in such groups will help each individual to pick the one they are interested in and it’s important for them to also have their friends’ approval. So while in the group, you show your interest in someone particularly by only focusing on them. You can even leave the group with the one you like so you can talk privately.

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Both of you will repeat the outing process with the group severally then afterwards, you can now ask the girl out for some coffee just the two of you. You may do other dating activities but only in public like going the park or to the movies. That will determine how the feeling of the two of you being alone. “kokuhaka” is now the process where the man will confess his feelings to the girl. I say a man because it is normally done by a man. So if the lady is able to reciprocate back the feelings, they proceed to being a girlfriend and a boyfriend where they can do what normal people do in relationships.

So all the outings in groups is always considered just getting to know each other and that is why kokuhaka is like passage test for you now to start dating officially. After the kokuhaka process, you can then kiss, start holding and even have sex but before that, it might be misinterpreted that your intention is only to have sex and not a serious relationship.

The westerner normally use a kiss to express their romantic intent, so it can be very confusing to easterner because they can only kiss after the kokuhaka process. In fact, the westerners are always surprised with easterners culture since they cannot even tell someone that like them before even having sex with them. They never say such words if they are not sure or having spent a lot of time with that person. But if they do, be sure they want to spend the rest of their lives with you.

Dating in America:

When it comes to dating, America happens to be an actual crack. They just ask you out and will never say things like “I haven’t dated someone maybe from a particular place.

They ask you out via every technology but fall for you when they meet you face to face.

They always have their type fixed and precise descriptions.

They find different accents attractive.

Don’t dress less formal when going out with them.

They quickly jump to calling you their girlfriends or boyfriend.

The word love is used frequently.

They have boring stories when they go out for dates. Like for example “you want to know about my blood category or about my job” like seriously?

If you haven’t been in several relationships, you are seen as someone incompetent.